Pork chop pieces sauteed with apples and brown sugar, two pinches of powdered chicken bouillon,salt, pepper, a slight drizzling of teriyaki, and just a bit more brown sugar added at the end. Served with rice pilaf. The skaters liked it, asked for more and stated that it was now a menu item.
Possible Twitter Entry 2-
Think I'll see if I can get it to rain on me.
Going for a walk at the beach.
Possible Twitter Entry 3-
Found many interesting sand forms. Busy photo op.
Half way, no less than that, it does begin to rain.
I turn around, but continue shooting.
Twice I put my camera inside my jacket as the rain became heavier.
Nice Stuff- is it really that I am in the right place at the right time or is there always something wonderful to be discovered if you are looking and open to it.
Wow! That woman has amazing legs. The definition of her muscles! She's in way better shape than her male companion and he's no couch potato!
Paper Journal Entry-
Just the Right Amount of Sadness
or The Right Amount of Sadness
The logical side wants the shorter version,
but the feeling side is pulling for the original- feeling wins! Yay!
Just the Right Amount of Sadness
Just the Right Amount of Sadness
(what really motivated me to write today)
"Shhhhhhh"
That's what she said before disappearing without another word to Neil.
That after sending him I'll Melt With You.
How was Neil supposed to interpret that?
Well,
It pushed him over the edge
It took his breath away.
Neil knew that it was crazy, but he had been thinking about booking a flight to surprise Gerri. He had just been toying with the idea before, but now...
Now he got as far as actually putting dates and times into the computer and was about to buy a ticket even though he would really have to fly out of work- not just leave on time, which he almost never managed to do. He'd actually have to take off a little early.
The flight to Denver left at 3:45. The next was 6 something. Too late. He could miss her if she had a slow night and decided to close up her studio early.
Something told him to check a bit further. Not just look on Gerri's website again, but to dig deeper, look more at some of the other sites that featured her work. Maybe he would find something else that would help him decide whether or not he should really do this.
Part of him wanted to just jump in and go for it. Part of him was afraid- She reminded him of someone else. A woman named Georgie who had made it pretty obvious that she wanted him to just go for it. She became rather upset when he just kept dragging his feet. And before much more time had passed that was the end of that.
But what Neil was really afraid of was finding that everything he said that he wanted to do For Himself would be totally and completely displaced.
It had happened before.
Every
Single
Time,
In fact.
No exceptions.
He started to think about Ingrid, but stopped himself.
Gerri would help him forget about her.
Only another artist or writer would be able to pull it off in the long run.
It's not that creative types were such prizes, but at least they would be more likely
to understand him.
Ingrid did, through and through,
more than anyone else he had ever known.
That's why he had not been able to keep himself from falling for her.
There was someone else too, but that was very different.
He felt bad even thinking of her.
Because at this point it was clear to him that he didn't love El.
He had at one time, and it might have actually worked out, but now that was just history.
He didn't feel the same.
He liked her and actually cared about her,
but he knew that he would be calling her just for sex.
For that most basic and primal of physical comforts that he hoped would come from someone else.
That would be OK with El. It was not as one sided as it might seem. She had called him, and even knocked upon his door late at night when she was in bad shape because of someone else and still really wanted to be with them, but knew that being with Neil would be ... well,
very comforting.
She always felt safe with him-At home.
And he always tried to be nice, even when he was frustrated with her
or feeling that he was exploiting her.
For years she had begged him to let her move in, but he hadn't.
She just wanted him to let her be nearby and if that was what she had to do, it was a small price to pay.
Their relationship was an unlikely story, and in many ways quite interesting, but another time. Your story will be told, El. Probably everyone's will be too, like it or not
:-)
Getting back to Just the Right Amount of Sadness, he was OK as he walked along the shore. The beach didn't always heal him, but taking pictures did. He had never not been pulled into the work, if he could manage to get started. And after a while he found himself making a heart shape out of seaweed on the sand and then adding a smiley face and then photographing it. How sad is that?
He smiled.
It was true, what he had thought earlier as he drove over here,
maybe he should be thanking her.
Thanking her or God or his blind luck,
that of the oblivious Fool from the Tarot deck.
That was really him.
For most of his life it seemed that he had led a very protected life. Not because of his parents, but by what he now thought of as nothing short of Divine Intervention. Even when bad things had happened, upon closer inspection, it really did seem that he had been spared the worst case scenario again and again throughout his life. He did try to acknowledge that. And really be thankful.
That's why he was not nearly so deeply sad as he might have been. He could feel it back in there, still lingering, but out of sight. He was so good at letting go now. It had really taken about four years with Carolyn. Part of that was because they were trying to remain friends. It had protracted his suffering. A similar story with Charlotte-the one who was supposed to displace Carolyn. But these two also had volumes of prose and poetry already written about them. No need for more here, but some might still slip in. You never know.
But let's get to the point. It would seem that the delicious and intriguing artist from Denver was married. In a number of her self-portraits she was wearing a wedding ring. Guess she forgot to mention any of those minor details.
Oh well, he still might like to meet her some day, maybe on his way to Boulder,
but not a special trip. Now and then he had reason to go there.
He wasn't upset with her. She was doing what she needed to get through her day. We all do that. Every one of us. She never imagined that he would take her seriously. It was just a playground out there where they had met. That's what the place was about and about the music too.
After he got back from the hardware store and market he would see if she was on-line. What kind of music would she be playing tonight?
Would he even hint at what he now knew or just play along and enjoy the ride?
He wasn't sure.
But it would be OK.
He would be OK
They would all be OK
Ingrid included.
Life is a struggle, and normally no one really tells you that unless they are in the middle of deep shit, or have recently emerged and are still somewhat incapacitated from the experience. Most of us try to spare others, especially younger friends and children the cold hard truth. It's not easy.
We are all just doing the best we can. Some are more successfully than others.
Most of us are seeking something genuine along the way.
If we can't find that, we are often willing to accept a reasonable facsimile.
Simple human tenderness is not the same as deep understanding and unconditional acceptance, but it is a pretty good consolation prize. Even strangers in the night can sometimes do at least a little for a fellow lost traveler.
copyright 2011 Craig Parks- all rights reserved
