I had so much to say during the week. There were a couple of days when I made myself wait 'til the weekend, but then yesterday, when I finally had time, found myself unable to get over here, to Blogger. I didn't even Blip yesterday. I listened and gave props to others, but didn't send out any music myself. I was here, but am not sure about how much of me was really here, and just hammering away at these little keys didn't seem to help.
Cumulative Effects- that's the name of one of my paintings. The largest one in my place.
The effects of little things can spontaneously combine and if you are already in somewhat of a vulnerable place, it can carry you over the edge.
It's not always a big drop, but you do at the very least sink down and find yourself not really wanting to come out of the abyss (or was that a cave?)
I believe that part of being a creature of free will includes the freedom to feel whatever you feel, but when you have obligations and responsibilities, being in a less than good or neutral place emotionally makes it more difficult to function efficiently and do what you need to do.
Most of us manage to some extend, we push on and move forward. It's sometimes two or three steps forward and one or two slipping back, but most of the time we are able to keep going.
But the extra weight on our shoulders is quite tiring.
Natalie Goldberg, one of the modern goddesses of teaching the writing process tells us in her book Writing Down the Bones, "It's our wild forest where we gather energy, before to prune our garden, write our fine books and novels. It's continual practice... Write whatever's running through you...Don't try to control it... keep your hand moving."
I will do just that, but in the course of trying to clean up the house more, at least a little. I managed two loads of laundry yesterday, but the dishes are still there, waiting for me. There are always so many other things to do :-)
But doing the dishes is a actually a good way for me to get back to writing, because something always floats in as I am doing them. I love mindless work.
Hopefully I will be back later, sooner would be even better though.
Wish us all luck.
C
copyrights 2011 Craig Parks- all rights reserved
